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Full Name: Roberto Kurtson

Birthdate: November 4, 1991

Birthplace: Paradise, California

Height: 5'9" (taller than Stock)

Weight: 260 (probably still less than Mek)

Blood Type: Motor Oil (family recipe)

Family/Relatives: Older brother, Older sister who moved out (they are way older than him), Mom, Dad (divorced, not Mom, just Dad)

Job/Occupation: Caretaker for the developmentally disabled

Likes: Psycho Ball unblockables, cheap shit in general, Jam's voice (what a fuckin weirdo)

Dislikes: Puppet characters, coconut, thinking of things to dislike under pressure (Falken doesn't like this one)

Hobbies: Collects figures, hotglue art

Favorite food: Broccoli Beef

Forte in Sports: All of them

Fighting Style: Aquatic Prison Art

Story: This is a perfect example of why you shouldn't let your child do nothing but videogames and cartoons. That's all he did, and that's all he does, and that's all he'll ever do.

Personality: Big meanie. Fond of little girls and motor oil. Known for repressing gifted individuals by abusing moderator rights.


Video game unplayer: Despite having nothing to do but play videogames, he manages to never be seen partaking in them. This is a mystery that has to be fully explored.



Spent 200 dollars on the special edition of jojo all star battle

Thinks yellow is the best M&M