King of Fighters XIII

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El Rey de los Frijoleros XIII, tambien entrale a la 98 o la 2002 si te gusta, y también el juego


La historia trata sobre el delicioso Ceniza Carmesí ilustrando sus peculiares aventuras a traves del tiempo y el espacio, detallando como se la come doblada además de mostrarnos como se roba el fuego de Iori junto con el espejo de Chizuru (Obvio, para verse, retocarse y ponerse maquillaje como toda fina dama debe hacerlo). Así que hacen un torneo para darse todos en la madre compitiendo por los cosméticos del Ceniza, ya cuando le ganas a muchos equipos llegas con el penúltimo enemigo el cual es un caballo rojo sin genitales desnudo, sin cara y con una rebosante cabellera al puro estio del Za Warudo justo como a muchos afeminados les gusta y hecho para su deleite por las brillantes mentes de SNKP quienes gastaron horas planeando tan ilustre diseño encerrados en un cuarto mirando musculaturas masculinas y tocandose furiosamente entre sí.

Otra parte de la historia engloba como Athena subió 30 kilos entre los otros KoF y este ya que la muy gorda siempre le traga sus panes chinos al Kensou a cambio de favores sexuales.

Estrategia (Strategy)[edit]

Si eres nuevo solo escoge a EX Kyo y da de pataditas cancelandolo a rekkas para ganar automáticamente, si no ganas es porque lo estas haciendo mal y deberías irte a jugar la AE porque para alla corren los no tienen talento y le sacan al "arriba arriba andale I'll cut you ese" no olvides comprar los otros 2 monos pa poder jugar el equipo de los 15 dolares como buen niño nice. (If you are new just pick EX Kyo and do sissy kicks into rekkas to automatically win, if you don't win it's because you're doing it wrong and should go to play AE because that's where the talentless fucks who are afraid of the "Arriba arriba andale I'll cut you ese" flock to, don't forget to buy the other 2 characters to play the 15 bucks team like a rich kid.)

Seccion novatos: Agarra Athena, tira bolas todo el puto dia. (Novice section: Pick Athena, throw fireballs all the fucking day)

Tambien puedes buscar en el youtubo videos de combos eternos que hacen 100% daño pero que nadie usa en juegos de verdad porque se les cae el espagueti al ver machos tan alfas como el Terry todo mamado y calote. (You can also look in youtube for extended video combos which do 100% but nobody uses in real matches because everyone drops the spaghetti the moment they see alpha males suchas Terry all muscled up and buff as fuck, and yes, he does lift.)

Seccion novatos: A la verga los combos, bolas de athena todo el dia. (Novice section: Fuck combos, Athena fireballs all day long)

Una estrategia popular es brincar como chapulin para todos lados como pendejo y rezar para que entre un jump-in para hacer un megacombo, obvio el oponente tiene una parte vital en todo esto, ya que en lo que terminas puede ir y comprar unos chescos quedandole tiempo de sobra. (A popular strategy consists of grass hopping around like a retard and praying for a jump-in to successfully land so you can do a megacombo, obviously the opponent plays a vital role in this as he can go and buy drinks and have time to spare while you finish your combo)

Seccion novatos: No brinques, tira bolas todo el dia. (Novice section: Don't jump, throw fireballs all day)

Otra tactica es evadir galerias de maquinitas o chispas populadas por cholos antes de que te picoteen/filereen y te vuelen el pasaje del camión. (Another tactic is to evade arcades populated by cholos before you get stabbed and mugged out of your bus fare)

Recuerda siempre traer un picahielo en la bolsa. (Remember to always carry a concealed icepick on your bag)

Mechanics (Gringo Edition)[edit]


In XIII your roll is as vulnerable as in other KoF games, basically when normal rolling forward or backwards (forward roll is done with either A+B or forward A+B while backwards is done holding backwards A+B) you are vulnerable at the end of the roll and are vulnerable at all times during said roll to grabs, however you are invulnerable during the rolling animation, each character has different rolling speeds and durations, also the duration and speed changes if you run and roll, so use it carefully or get bent.

Roll Cancel & Recovery Roll

XIII system remains somewhat similar to previous iterations, you have your typical options during block at the expense of one stock, such as roll cancel (Guard Cancel Roll) which makes you fucking invulnerable all the times unlike the shitty normal roll which can be fucked over in the last frames or grabbed, abuse this if your opponent wants to chip you to death with a full screen multi hitting move and if the special or movement is still hitting you or active at the end of it then keep blocking, you can also do an invincible roll (Recovery Roll) when you get thrown to the ground by a lot of stuff, the timing is to hit A+B when you are going to exactly touch the ground, good to avoid wakeup games, however you can't roll recovery hard knockdowns though.

Guard Cancel

You also have your guard counter (Guard Cancel) moves which are done by pressing C+D on guard, do a bit of damage and are a big "get the fuck off me" relief for some people, you can still get hit if the opponent recovers before it comes out, or if the opponent's move is still invulnerable when you're doing your CD, so, you can get stuffed like a turkey in thanksgiving day with no rubber gloves on.


Of course you also have the different flavors of jumps, the varieties are, Normal Jump (4,5 or 6) Super Jump (tap 1,2 or 3 then hold 7, or 9) Short Hop (tap 7,8 or 9) and Hyper Short Hop (tap 1,2,3 then tap 7,9) keep in mind the super jump and hyper short hop can only be done backwards of forwards, not straight up, practice all of this until your hands bleed or else you'll get bodied like Wong at SBO in SF4, you can also run then jump and you'll get a superjump or hyper short hop depending on how long you press 7 or 9.


Also like in previous KoF you can do aerial movements or even some normals while backdashing, that is because you are put in an aerial state for a brief period when you do so, backdashing and throwing an aerial command normal with some characters yo do travel a further distance backwards, good for escaping like a big sissy, you can for example, do Iori's 4(4)+B, Kyo's 44 2+C, Athena's 44 2+B and even special moves like Athena's qcb+B or qcb+D among other things, of course the special moves won't let you travel further but they are useful sometimes like when you are backing down in the corner and doing a special move to catch the opponent in the middle of a whiffed meaty or normal, use the special moves sparingly. But abuse the shit out of the getaway normals.


Throws in KoF are done with either C or D buttons, when you throw or get thrown you can tech out by pressing the same button as the opponent is using, of course you can be a dirty cheater and use C+D holding a direction to avoid guessing, C throws always throw the opponent forwards while D throws throw the opponent backwards, you can use throws to punish rolls, but for fucks sake, don't use throws to punish enemies mistakes since you'll most likely get teched out, roll grabs and grabbing the enemy in a counter situation is untechable so abuse this. Some characters also have air throws, you do this by pressing any direction except up with C, it can't be teched out either and is very, very annoying, so use this if you hate the other player. Throwing is not possible while running unless you do command grabs.

Drive Cancelling and Super Cancelling

Newly to KoF is the Drive Gauge, it's that green puke colored bar above the stock bar, basically this is the limited on how much you can cancel into other shit, when you have half of the bar of the drive gauge you can do Drive Cancels, which is basically canceling special moves into other special moves for gdlk juggles, you can also spend that meter on super canceling which is basically canceling a special move into a super(Super Cancel), cancelling is dependent on character moves since not everything can be canceled, however you need to do a clean hit on the first special move to drive cancel, super cancels don't require you to hit to do your business so you can do it when the enemy blocks your junk.

When your drive gauge is all filled up you can enter into HD mode, which basically makes all your normals and command normals cancelable, you can also do drive canceling(Hyperdrive Cancels) but this time it doesn't matter whether the opponent blocks or not, you can do Neomaxes, they cost you 2 stocks but this will end the HD mode, there's also the possibility of supercanceling a super into neomax (Max Cancel)

Neomaxes outside of HD cost you 3 stock bars and the whole HD gauge.

Lista de Niveles e índice de putez (Tier list and faggotry index)[edit]


(Tier list by Mari, an autistic UM02 nip player)


ClawsOfSteel - Pacific Northwest | Costa Oeste, Gringolandia

YamiAtomsk- West Coast (IA) | Costa Oeste, Gringolandia (Inteligencia Artificial)

TotallyBoard- US West Coast | Costa Oeste, Gringolandia

CaptainBroseph - US West Coast | Costa Oeste, Gringolandia

PhthaloBlue - US West Coast (Texas) | Costa Oeste, Gringolandia (Texas)

Butu_Porter - US West Coast (Arizona) | Costa Oeste, Gringolandia (Arizona)

Scaipgote - UK London | Reino Unido Londres